Eleanor “Kay” Bourlier-Gilliland was named after her Aunt, but more important names were hers too, such as Mother, Friend, Nurse, Daughter, Niece, Mother-In-Law, Christian, Wife, Teacher, and Traveler.  

Kay passed on to the gates of Heaven on Friday, November 26th, 2021. A Prayer Service will be held at 2:30 p.m. on Saturday, December 11, 2021 at Royer Funeral Home, Grain Valley, Missouri. The family will receive friends from 1:00 to 2:30 p.m. at the funeral home.

As with all of us, the least important things about her life are the details on the Death Certificate. Born in a small Nebraska town in Jan 1948, to wonderful but overworked parents Harley and Vivian Bourlier.  Her dad after his WWII tour as a Navy cook at the Hastings Naval Ammunition Depot opened the Cafe across the street from the Train Station.  It was always busy during the hey-days of train travel, but Kay was their only child and Vivian wanted more for her daughter than waitressing. She encouraged Kay to be something that made a good living.  Job options for women in those days were limited but Kay was naturally kind and intuitive, skills that make for a great nurse, she started as a Candy-Stripper at the local Mary Lanning Hospital and later went on to graduate as a skilled Registered Nurse from The Independence Sanitarium in Independence Missouri.  Kay would never brag, but I am proud of the scores she received on her Missouri State Nursing Board Test, her scores were the highest for her graduating class that year. 

She worked for over 35 years as a nurse mostly in Emergency Rooms. She was the grace in others personal storms. 

As an ER nurse she saw most people on their worst days, but still had a calm presence and quick mind to do the best for all her patients. Of her many Hospital employments, Park Lane was her favorite and she saw some of the big tragic Kansas City events like the fall of cat-walks at Hyatt Regency and the exposition at the construction site that took the lives of 6 Firefighters.  She was always kind to her patients and was good at her job, it might have been a calling for her but it was still very hard work and she was forced to retire early because of the damage to her back from years of long hours and heavy lifting.   Even at the end of her life, she was worried about having an active and valid Nursing License. 

Kay loved the sea, shells, whimsy, and travel.  Some of the fondest memories were traveling with her favorite Uncle, Jack Schultz to see North America.  He passed unexpectedly in 2006 and until her own death, she missed him, their talks, and their travels together.  Glad you both can continue your travels again and I am sure he was there to greet her on the other side. Travel took on new destinations when she married Terry Gilliland. They were able to take amazing trips around the world.  Great memories of her adventures and of seeing Africa, South America, Europe, and other places.   She remembered Egypt was one of her favorite destinations even when the Alzheimer’s had taken most of her other travel memories.  I still remember stories about that trip and how special it was with the people, animals, and country, it was almost mystical. She had always wanted to take her daughter there but ran out of time.  Time… Funny how we always think there is a never-ending bucket of “later” in which there holds a limitless amount of time in which to do things. She would tell you to do things now while you have time, don’t wait.  That same quiet ambition made her a great mom. As a single parent, she raised a child on her own without the benefit of moral or financial support during a time when a more stern world had expectations for women to give up fatherless children for adoption.  She always made her own path and was determined to be a pioneer for positive social changes in many aspects of her life. Personally, there are many good memories of being her daughter, with sometimes teaching Sunday school or VBS, travel, and education, encouraging me to try new things, take some risks and make smart decisions in my life. I will miss her love, wit, understanding, and all other best parts of her life. I will miss her presence in my life.  She had lifelong friends whom many had already passed on and I am sure were also there to greet her when she crossed over.   Her last retired years were spent more quietly with her Daughter Amy Bourlier and Son-In-Law Charles Roberts whom she is survived by. She has countless friends she called family and we were blessed to spend special moments, holidays, and birthdays with, even when most of her blood family had passed on. Sometimes you make the family you need.  Her last days went fast, and we had moments that were quiet with spirit and love, but I would never ask her to relive those final days. To try to sum up a whole life lived, Kay was such a fierce advocate for everyone but herself, she was always the one to put her needs last both to patients, and family.  She would, however, tell you don’t wait, be courageous, do new things, stand up for yourself, and the weak; do what’s right, honorable and do good in the world, support others, and yet still be independent and the Hero in your own Life Story.  Your life story doesn’t have to be grand, but let it be a good one and without regrets. 

Obituary submitted by family

Arrangements:  Royer Funeral Home, Grain Valley, MO   816-847-4441